Liza Rivas

When parents separate, it is hard on all family members.  There is a process of mourning we cannot avoid.  It is a drastic change for all involve and it may hurt, but how do you make it easier on everyone, how do you alleviate the pain and sadness?

Did you know that your children see the world through your eyes in the first stages of their lives.  How did you learn to relate, to love, to give and to respect?  Probably you learned it in your family enviornment. 

The hardest thing for children to surpass is watching two people that should love, respect and care for eachother, tear eachother apart and sometimes involve them through the process.

You will not be able to avoid all their pain, there will be moments you may only sit next to your child and listen, or hug them or just give them an ok look. 

What parents can control is the harmony through the process, the way they treat eachother and how they  communicate.  Be careful not to fall in the temptation to use your kids to get back at eachother, it mostly hurts them not necessarily your ex wife or husband. 

So, what is the most important job during a divorce?  Be civilized, communicate, be honest and act upon rationalism not emotions.

Lets try to ease the pain for all.  I have seen families undergo through the process with great sadness, but with maturity and emotional intelligence.