Liza Rivas

To be a parent in this century is a challenge and at the same time it is the most satisfying experience for a human being.  What we learn as parents, what we experience and how we evolve with our children is mystical for many.

The process of educating and creating limits with love and patience is not as simple as the words imply.  Our kids do not come with a book of instructions.

If we would have guidelines it would simplify our constant questioning, am I doing the right thing?  In occasions I remind parents two important objectives in the process of raising a child; with unconditional love we should create boundaries and be consistent.

What does this mean?  How do we carry it out?  How do we apply this?

Unconditional love means that we should have quality time, we should play with our children, and there is a physical compromise from both parents in the life of a child.  It is a continuous job of time and quality.  Quality means to concentrate on them by being consistent, creating routines because it makes a child feel secure and by creating harmony and stability in the lives of our children by being coherent ourselves.  Unconditional love means to be able to speak when necessary, to ignore when necessary, and to be present and all ears when necessary, but most importantly to create independence in the process.

Parents are not eternal, we will not be in our children’s lives for ever, and we are not slaves of our children either.  Let our children make their own mistakes; this is evident form the first few months.  For example, a child is crawling, loses his or her balance; we need to stay calm with our body language and our tone of voice letting them know we are confident it will be ok.

Parents are the fist pillar of stability, of limits, and love in our children’s lives.  All that parents may accomplish during the first stages of life will be reflected in their children’s adult stage.  Self-esteem, self-confidence, the capacity to love and be loved, the capacity to organize, study habits and the visualization of a family is part of that first stage of life.

Creating a good environment, with liberty, but with limits two concepts that seem contrary, but so true in the lives of children.  Be firm but affectionate is another contradiction that is extremely important.

Looking at this scenario and interpreting what we are visualizing every end point leads to the emotional stability.  Parents are responsible to help their children find that road of happiness.  Parents are responsible of helping their children find the road to a fulfill life, we are the base of that construction, so important to see how they grow and finally realize, we did it.  We need to visualize how we see them as adults and to deliver support with limits and unconditional love.

To conclude I only want to remind parents that in the process of educating and guidance we also have to accept with joys who are kids are, knowing them and allowing them to be who they are and that they are loved.

We cannot expect to live through them what we did not live. We cannot limit who we love, we may only push them and monitor the process, but always respecting their interests, since it makes each person a particular human being.